Be yourself! those who mind don’t matter and those that matter don’t mind

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind” Dr Seuss

Who doesn’t like a bit of Dr Seuss. He has many gems, no doubt over  future blogs you will see me quote him some more.

This one is a favourite of mine because I am lucky to have some great people in my life that I can truly be myself around. My parents instilled in all their children that we need to stand on our own 2 feet and stand tall as us. They were happy to see us go against the grain.

Some people may not have had this privilege and may be daunted. Once you can be yourself, you can see more clearly, those people who have similar interests. In the words of Seth Godin “your tribe”.

They then become the people who don’t mind and you can step away from those who don’t matter.

Sometimes, your sanity depends on it!

Ghilaine

@LadyGhilaine

How do you know you are in the right place?

You have turned up and found a group of people that you think are like you. How do you know you have met those of like mind? This is a question I often struggle with.

It can sound more difficult that actually is. People are often suspicious of ulterior motives that they project onto me. What does she want back if she is offering help? Is she slightly crazy? So what do you look for when finding your community.

1. I often think the first step is how they greet you.
Does it feel comfortable. Does it mirror how you greet those you already know and admire. If you have just entered the room, does everyone have a look on their face that mirrors how you feel? For me that is a smile. But for someone like my brother it will be a scrutinising look.

2. If you are not sure, just sit and watch, this is the best way to get a feel for the people around you. 
When it comes to connections, the best way is to go back to the basics and exercise your instinct.  More often than not, the human animal is very good at reading body language and voice intonation. You can get a feel for open or closed conversations.

3. As always it pays to listen.
If you are meeting 1:1, this is an important rule. Finding out about someone is the first way to identify if you have anything in common. To ensure the conversation flows it is important to find the commonality, but if you want to know if these are people you want to see again and again, the commonality needs to be something you want to enjoy not for example, that you both found off milk in the fridge this morning.

4. Finally, be yourself!
If you want to find the group that is right for you, there is no point trying to fit in, you need to be you and identify that they fit with you and you fit with them.

Go on, go outside and see if you can find your community! In January, we hope that we can help you. We will start our new program of Tech Talkfest events, watch out for the subjects that interest you most!

Ghilaine

@LadyGhilaine