The joys of spring?

Coming into summer, perhaps this is not the right title, but I can’t think of one with summer. Suggestions gratefully received on a postcard to……

I had the displeasure of having to get up before 6am a few days ago which I can tell you is not a happy place for me. I feel as though I should get up early to get full advantage of the day, but never seem to get my body to follow up on that desire. Funny that! Anyway, I digress. Having had the displeasure, I figure that I may as well make the best of it and now it is light out, I don’t have to walk through wind and rain in the dark.

This may be a very simple observation, but it makes me realise that if I don’t take stock and remember that summer is pretty much here, I may blink and miss it! Now instead of being stuck inside meeting people, we may be able to move outside, onto a terrace or pub garden. How civilised!

Here’s to meeting people in the evening with a bit of daylight!

@LadyGhilaine

Be Kind!

One of my friends, Amanda Davie, was kind enough to forward this Pintrest board to me. I am one of those people who does like a good quote. I am not so good or wise with words, but I find quotes useful to convey what I mean simply.

The one that caught my eye immediately was “Before you say something, think how you’d feel if someone said it you” (http://hplyrikz.com)

Or if you don’t like that one, how about “Sometimes it is better to be kind than to be right. We do not need an intelligent mind that speaks, but a patient heart that listen.”

Perhaps that will give you something to think on this week. It certainly does for me.

Ghilaine

@LadyGhilaine

Eye to Eye

Interestingly, on a bright sunny day, we are less likely to be kind to others and sometimes forget our common courtesies. Perhaps the answer is obvious to you, but it is because more of us are wearing sunglasses, we make less eye contact. In London, eye contact may not be that common anyway, but just imagine how much worse it gets when everyone is covering their eyes.

Catching someone’s eye is one of the surest ways to get them to see you as a human being and by extension being courteous and kind. It is sometimes good to remember if you meet someone that may not be having such a good day. Try and catch their eye, even perhaps smile. This may just calm them down or even make their bad day a little better. Perhaps the results are better than reciprocating their negativity.

Ghilaine

@LadyGhilaine

What is the opposite of Giving?

How have you answered the question? Did you use the word take or receive? 

Receive: To be given or presented with

Take: Capture or gain possession of

Which answer would you prefer? How you answer probably says a lot about how you perceive the act of giving.

From http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/

Ghilaine

@LadyGhilaine

Helping one person at a time

I struggle with feeling like I am making a difference in the world. I am too selfish to give all my property away and go off and live and help the poor. My well digging skills are not up to much and frankly, I am city girl who likes concrete and street lighting. Even putting me in the middle of a field at dusk in the UK freaks me out. So how can I help, how can I make a difference?

A lot of people may look at me and say that I don’t and I can’t. Maybe they are right. But I am heartened by the thoughts that a long journey is taken one step at a time. My assistance may not be epic, my changes may not affect a population, but they do affect someone. Even if that someone is just me.

I believe that it is not about the words you speak (or type) that is going to change someone else’s behaviour. They need to see you walking the walk. They are more motivated by seeing the behaviour. It is more real.

Unless you are in the public eye, very few people see your behaviour. If you manage to make someone else think or feel or act, even slightly differently and for the greater good, then you have done a good thing.

Remember, you can help, sometimes, it just takes one person at a time.

Ghilaine

@LadyGhilaine

Thinking the best of people

I lost my wallet. Not sure how, but I think it fell out of my pocket when I got into my car. We hunted high and low, I couldn’t believe that it wasn’t somewhere. The person I visited the day I lost it, did the same. It didn’t make sense that I didn’t have it. After manic searching, I cancelled my credit cards.

So far, not too hard, but the loss of a significant amount of cash was depressing. The inconvenience is harder to take. A day passed, I wondered if I should start working out what the police do in situations like this, what if someone handed it in? I was considering the principles that my mother taught me “by thinking the best of people they often do just that.” I started to consider if the police would call me if my wallet was handed in or do I need to navigate some convoluted path.

20 minutes later a call from the lovely desk Sergeant came through. They had my wallet! I allowed myself to be hopeful that my cash may still be part of the contents of that wallet.

After completing the paperwork and signing for it, my wallet was lacking the money that I had. I put it down to the prize someone received for handing it in and the tax I pay for not being more careful. What I think is that the person handing it in, did not benefit from its contents…….

Does that make me stop thinking the best of people? Thankfully not. I hope that money is enjoyed by the person who took it or it went to someone that needed it more than I did. If I think anything else, it will bring me down, that just affects me, not the person with the extra cash in their pocket.

Ghilaine

@LadyGhilaine

What do you do?

As someone who helps people to network, this question fills me with dread. People ‘do’ a lot of things. You can’t distil it down to a simple 30 second elevator pitch. So what do you say? You give a job title. Nowadays, job titles tell the questioner even less, but still they nod in recognition. Even worse, what if you don’t have a job title?

Shouldn’t the question be ‘Who are you?’

Most people answer with their name. The joy of this question is that you can ask it again with a different emphasis and they understand that you want more from them than just their name.

In my opinion this question works well because you want to find out more meaningful information about someone than what is on their business card or in their LinkedIn profile.

Being able to answer this question is also hugely powerful when meeting someone for the 1st time. As we have said before with networking, you need to put a piece of you out there and be yourself for it to enjoyable. You are essentially making friends; Some may last the conversation, others, if you are fortunate, a lot longer than that.

Making friends works best when they know you, not the job you ‘do’. This means sharing who you are. I find this part difficult. I am learning to be ‘me’. I have spent much of my career compartmentalising my ‘job self’ with my ‘personal self’, often as a protection mechanism. It has been a way to keep people at arm’s length and not allowing myself the opportunity to meet people that will challenge my views, show me new ways of doing things or allow me to learn more about the world around me (and potentially myself).

Opening myself up to all of these new opportunities is extremely enjoyable. People are amazing. When you hear their stories, you see the real person shining through, you get swept up in their enthusiasm. They are allowed to sparkle. I am not sure I have seen that when you ask people ‘What they do’. No job title is that exciting.

So now, when I am approached and someone asks me what I do, I am going to turn it around and say, don’t you want to ask who I am.

“I am Ghilaine, and I am interested in people and fascinated by why they do what they do. I am terrible at small talk so like to get into the difficult and messy conversations about, beliefs, religion and politics.”

It is easy to shoe horn that answer in to the question ‘What do you do?’ because I can answer the what I do question with that answer and it almost makes sense…..

So, who are you?

Ghilaine

@LadyGhilaine

ABC of Networking

I have broken down some networking tips into some easy to remember parts. I hope it helps. I want to follow up with some other handy tips on what to talk about and how best to move around a room, not getting stuck too long in one conversation. I hope you enjoy!

Ask Questions

Have you ever been stuck with someone who talks about a subject that you are not interested in or they are already deep in conversation with someone already. The best way to start get into conversation is to ask questions. If nothing else, you will learn something. When was the last time you felt good about someone, was it the person who was interested in what you had to say? Ta Da! It was the questions that showed you they were interested.

Be Nice

This sounds a bit silly, but if you dismiss what someone says or tell them they are wrong 2 minutes after you have met them, how do you think they will feel about you after that encounter. A quote I love (which I can’t reference)

“Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always”

This helps me think about my daily interactions. Life is tough, you are having a bad day, so, maybe, is someone else. What makes you special in this regard? Nothing. Remember that sometimes, just a kind word can change someone’s day and, more importantly, mood.

Concentrate on what they have to say

Or another way to say this, is Listen (but that wouldn’t fit into my alphabet!). Don’t look across the room at other people or see who else is around. Really listen and take in what the person is saying. I tend to write things down and it helps me concentrate on what is being said, but sometimes this may not be appropriate. By going back to asking questions, you can clarify what they are saying and by repeating some of what they have said in your own words means it is more easily retained in the memory. By listening, you can watch their face and see how they feel about the subjects they are talking about. Again, their face then becomes memorable too.

Don’t interrupt

This goes back to being a listener and being nice. Whilst others are talking, many people are thinking about what they are going to say and get so excited, they talk over someone else. We teach our children not to interrupt when adults are talking as they sit there minute after minute waiting for a space. What this teaches them is to wait for someone to take a breath and get started as soon as there is a space. Be more considered with your responses. Wait until there is a gap in conversation. If there isn’t one, perhaps you won’t get to hold court today. But another day, you may get your spotlight. Often the most quiet person is seen as enigmatic, so once you have spoken people may think you are the wisest in the room. Or in my case, maybe not!

Exchange details

This isn’t necessary, but for me, meeting new people should always be about seeing how you can help them, by connecting them to someone else or by passing on a little knowledge that could be useful. If you don’t exchange details, you won’t be able to help them properly and your offers will sound and be empty promises. Some people may not want to pass their details to you, so don’t sweat it if you don’t.

Follow up with them afterwards

I am not sure if there is etiquette on this, but if someone has given me their business card, I think it is only courteous to follow up with a message. This can only be done if you have exchanged details. It allows you to follow up with your offer of help or ask any questions that you may have missed when talking with them. As networking is seen as the most basic form of business development, how can you build a good business relationship if you only contact them out of the blue 2 years after you met? This is where LinkedIn comes into its own. By doing the above, I have managed to have some really interesting conversations with people who know a lot about their specialist subjects. I have learned so much and to me that is the sign of a good day! Hope yours is good too. Ghilaine @LadyGhilaine

Building Global Relationships

Last week we had our first Global Conversations dinner and it was a real success. One of our members, Sofie Sandell, is an amazing leader who helped us to generate thought provoking solutions and ask crucial questions to help us determine the best ways to build and maintain global relationships.

We had 21 brilliant people with us and we gave them the opportunity to share their thoughts!
I’m not going to say much about it as you can check yourself on our Bambuser Channel https://bambuser.com/channel/GlobalLDN

Hope you enjoy it and on the next opportunity join us!

Analice

@analicemina

We are all portraits of our Community

I had the chance to go to the Portrait Gallery yesterday to see the Taylor Wessing Photographic Portrait Prize exhibition. As any good piece of art would do, it generated deep thoughts and a huge appreciation for those photographers that, through their work and effort, allow us (the viewers) to be inspired through their experiences.

Every time I saw a portrait that really caught my attention, I would read about it with more egger, sometimes wishing more could be said about that piece… I wanted to know why the photographer chose that person, the level of connection between them and details about the photo shoot.
The exhibition displayed the work of different photographers around the world, what made it even more interesting was to see the different approaches they had in each one of the portraits.

While I was there, it came to my mind that we are talking about community this week at Tech Talkfest, and how important it is to be part of a community and even better, to choose to be part of one.

Each one of us carries parts of our backgrounds, deceptions, victories, etc. If someone were to make a portrait of you, how would it be? What would it look like? What would be the main point of attention? Probably if we had to choose, we would position ourselves on our best angle, wear the best outfit. Maybe some of us would rather like to be snapped on a normal day, just as you are right now.

This is the power of networking, that none of us have control of how people capture us, if they’d be intrigued and feel inspired or if they would find a “sidekick” to us. So the good advice is when you and I meet new people – just chill and be you! Everyday we have the same chances to be inspired by people. Why does it have to be in an art gallery or at a music concert? Why can’t it be around a table in a coffee bar having a chat?

Another thing that came out from yesterday’s visit to the Portrait Gallery was that we all involuntarily portrait our own communities. Nearly every portrait I saw drove my thoughts to one of my friends, some situation I’ve been in or a place I’ve visited. Even the least sociable person finds their connections somewhere and has someone to share their ideas with, (even if it’s with a cuddly penguin as we see on the latest John Lewis Christmas advert!).

We are all sociable people and isn’t it great that at Tech Talkfest we can be surrounded by great people with an immense capacity of doing good to us?

Analice Mina Collyer

@analicemina