“Smile and the world smiles with you, cry and you cry alone.”

Smile and the world smiles with you, cry and you cry alone.”  Stanley Gordon West, Growing an Inch

I walk around London. A lot! I love cities. With the sun making an appearance and warming the faces after winter, it makes me smile.

I try and walk with a smile anyway, if I am consciously thinking about the look on my face. In London, this can make you look slightly crazy, like talking to strangers on the tube.

I notice so many people walking along with, in best case, a neutral face, in worse case, a frown. This saddens me and whether they think I am crazy, I hope I pass the cheer on. I never know, if they walk away with a smile, after they pass me, but I hope.

Being oblivious to the results ensures I carry on smiling. Pass on a smile today!

I am lucky to have a few friends who will cry with me, but not for long. Smiling will always make you feel better whether you start happy or not.

Ghilaine

@LadyGhilaine

What do you stand for?

The quote above is attributed to a few people from Alexander Hamilton, Peter Marshall and Ginger Rogers are some of the possible authors. (Source: Oxford Dictionary of Quotations)

What do you stand for? Do you know?

It is an interesting human condition to want to stand out, but also be part of a group. Following the crowd is all well and good, but are you following the right crowd? Do they share your values? Your core values go to the centre of your being. By calling yours out, it means you could stand out and people can judge you. This makes you vulnerable and can fill you with fear. We all want to be liked, again, another human condition. This is hard to take, but by standing out, you have the possibility of meeting the right people, with similar or supportive values.

What we stand for helps drive us forward and motivates us to do our best. Having the right people around you to support you, will propel you further than you can go alone. If you don’t care, you will feel nothing.

@LadyGhilaine

Ghilaine

Fools

A fool can be defined as being deficient in judgement, sense or understanding.

When is it that you act like a fool? When do you do act without sense or judgement? What is it that makes you act that way. In everything else you have clear judgement; you make sure everything makes sense; you weigh up the pros and cons.

Sometimes it is good to be foolhardy, making some decisions without getting stuck into the details. It can be exhilarating . Maybe today is the day to take baby steps and start small.

Do something foolish today, people will let you off for it!

Ghilaine

@LadyGhilaine

Networking my way through the NHS LDNTech Talk

Last week, we had our first of many LDNTech Talks. The topic more specifically: navigating the NHS landscape and developing key relationships. Being a student from America on a study abroad program, I had all kinds of feelings and nerves rushing through my body beforehand. Do I know enough about the NHS? How do I start a good conversation with someone I don’t know? Do I do this? Do I do that?

Long story short, the night was a huge success. We had three inspiring and knowledgeable event panelists who were able to share their journey with the rest of us; Michael Seres, Mike Buck and Sarah Haywood. We were fortunate enough to have Sarah and Mike with us in person, while Michael was video chatted into the conversation. It’s amazing how far technology has taken us in this day and age. Thank you, Skype!

Here’s a bit of insight on how our three speakers got involved with the NHS. After a struggle with Crohns’s Disease, Michael created sensor technology for ostomy patients. He is now trying to get it into the UK health system. Mike oversees BJSS engagements on behalf of the central government of the NHS. He is experienced in all kinds of IT functions and development. Last, but certainly not least, Sarah Haywood. Sarah is chief operating officer of MedCity who had an endless amount of experience and brought with her helpful insight to all guests. I can speak for everyone when I say the three panelists did an incredible job!

After hearing a few inspiring stories and a good question and answer period, it was time to network. I managed to talk with a few very interesting people and get an insight on the system as a whole, as well as personal thoughts and opinions. One thing I picked up on quite quickly – The key to success is creating and developing successful business relationships. It’s all about networking!

In regards to my previously asked questions, I’ve answered them for myself. Just go with the flow. Networking isn’t about going into an event or conversation with every word of every sentence planned out. Rather, it’s about jumping into a conversation with an open mind, letting things flow naturally.

“In today’s world, you have to interact. You can’t be some difficult, shy person who is not able to look someone in the face; you have to present yourself. You have to know how to talk about your vision, your focus, and what you believe in.” Anna Wintour

We hope to see you all at our next LDNTech Talk!

Tori Langhams

@Tlanghans

What do you do?

As someone who helps people to network, this question fills me with dread. People ‘do’ a lot of things. You can’t distil it down to a simple 30 second elevator pitch. So what do you say? You give a job title. Nowadays, job titles tell the questioner even less, but still they nod in recognition. Even worse, what if you don’t have a job title?

Shouldn’t the question be ‘Who are you?’

Most people answer with their name. The joy of this question is that you can ask it again with a different emphasis and they understand that you want more from them than just their name.

In my opinion this question works well because you want to find out more meaningful information about someone than what is on their business card or in their LinkedIn profile.

Being able to answer this question is also hugely powerful when meeting someone for the 1st time. As we have said before with networking, you need to put a piece of you out there and be yourself for it to enjoyable. You are essentially making friends; Some may last the conversation, others, if you are fortunate, a lot longer than that.

Making friends works best when they know you, not the job you ‘do’. This means sharing who you are. I find this part difficult. I am learning to be ‘me’. I have spent much of my career compartmentalising my ‘job self’ with my ‘personal self’, often as a protection mechanism. It has been a way to keep people at arm’s length and not allowing myself the opportunity to meet people that will challenge my views, show me new ways of doing things or allow me to learn more about the world around me (and potentially myself).

Opening myself up to all of these new opportunities is extremely enjoyable. People are amazing. When you hear their stories, you see the real person shining through, you get swept up in their enthusiasm. They are allowed to sparkle. I am not sure I have seen that when you ask people ‘What they do’. No job title is that exciting.

So now, when I am approached and someone asks me what I do, I am going to turn it around and say, don’t you want to ask who I am.

“I am Ghilaine, and I am interested in people and fascinated by why they do what they do. I am terrible at small talk so like to get into the difficult and messy conversations about, beliefs, religion and politics.”

It is easy to shoe horn that answer in to the question ‘What do you do?’ because I can answer the what I do question with that answer and it almost makes sense…..

So, who are you?

Ghilaine

@LadyGhilaine

The practical application of help

Michelle Morton is one of those ladies that does things differently, because she has found that the way she does it works. She runs a premium consultancy and social enterprise supporting globally-spread technology start-ups with sales, lean marketing and business development duties. You may ask, what is so special about that? Well, she runs this consultancy in a way that also prepares and trains NEETS (Not in Education, Employment or Training) into meaningful jobs. She has had many of these young people pass through her ‘program’ and onto careers. She talks passionately about the past and future for all of them. She wonders what more she can do and is currently looking for help to be able to grow this program to be able to help more young people. If you feel you have something you can help with, please do let me know and I can pass you to Michelle.

Someone like that leaves you awestruck and wanting to help. One of things she needed was some office space for her and her current ‘recruits’. Gladly, I was able to introduce her to Anthony of Goodfruits who was able to help.

Anthony has built GOODFRUIT. It is crowdfunded platform with a difference. It a crowdfunds and skill sources for cultural and social projects with integrity. A community where dreamers connect with co-dreamers and bring good fruit to life . Not only can you raise money to invest in your business, you can raise skills and time. For me this is a great idea. If you don’t have money, but you want to help a company grow, you can offer your skills or time to help.

Darshan has a lot going on, but everything he does has a purpose focussing on the greater good. He is a fellow TLA and he runs a great initiative called State of Ambition. It is a non-profit that is aiming to raise aspirations for 16-30 year olds, by providing role models and a programme that gives then practical steps to learn new things that produce outcomes that they can use to give real world examples of experience that is useful in the job market. The program itself has high ambitions and it is working with companies who can help show these young people what can be achieved and how. The How is very important. Most people know what they should do and why they should do it. But how can be a lot more difficult. The how comes from seeing how others do it. You need someone who exhibits the right behaviours to guide you and nudge you.

As you can see these people have a lot in common and can likely help each other. I was so glad to be able to put them together to go off and do even greater things.

Hope you have a great day!

Ghilaine

@LadyGhilaine

ABC of Networking

I have broken down some networking tips into some easy to remember parts. I hope it helps. I want to follow up with some other handy tips on what to talk about and how best to move around a room, not getting stuck too long in one conversation. I hope you enjoy!

Ask Questions

Have you ever been stuck with someone who talks about a subject that you are not interested in or they are already deep in conversation with someone already. The best way to start get into conversation is to ask questions. If nothing else, you will learn something. When was the last time you felt good about someone, was it the person who was interested in what you had to say? Ta Da! It was the questions that showed you they were interested.

Be Nice

This sounds a bit silly, but if you dismiss what someone says or tell them they are wrong 2 minutes after you have met them, how do you think they will feel about you after that encounter. A quote I love (which I can’t reference)

“Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always”

This helps me think about my daily interactions. Life is tough, you are having a bad day, so, maybe, is someone else. What makes you special in this regard? Nothing. Remember that sometimes, just a kind word can change someone’s day and, more importantly, mood.

Concentrate on what they have to say

Or another way to say this, is Listen (but that wouldn’t fit into my alphabet!). Don’t look across the room at other people or see who else is around. Really listen and take in what the person is saying. I tend to write things down and it helps me concentrate on what is being said, but sometimes this may not be appropriate. By going back to asking questions, you can clarify what they are saying and by repeating some of what they have said in your own words means it is more easily retained in the memory. By listening, you can watch their face and see how they feel about the subjects they are talking about. Again, their face then becomes memorable too.

Don’t interrupt

This goes back to being a listener and being nice. Whilst others are talking, many people are thinking about what they are going to say and get so excited, they talk over someone else. We teach our children not to interrupt when adults are talking as they sit there minute after minute waiting for a space. What this teaches them is to wait for someone to take a breath and get started as soon as there is a space. Be more considered with your responses. Wait until there is a gap in conversation. If there isn’t one, perhaps you won’t get to hold court today. But another day, you may get your spotlight. Often the most quiet person is seen as enigmatic, so once you have spoken people may think you are the wisest in the room. Or in my case, maybe not!

Exchange details

This isn’t necessary, but for me, meeting new people should always be about seeing how you can help them, by connecting them to someone else or by passing on a little knowledge that could be useful. If you don’t exchange details, you won’t be able to help them properly and your offers will sound and be empty promises. Some people may not want to pass their details to you, so don’t sweat it if you don’t.

Follow up with them afterwards

I am not sure if there is etiquette on this, but if someone has given me their business card, I think it is only courteous to follow up with a message. This can only be done if you have exchanged details. It allows you to follow up with your offer of help or ask any questions that you may have missed when talking with them. As networking is seen as the most basic form of business development, how can you build a good business relationship if you only contact them out of the blue 2 years after you met? This is where LinkedIn comes into its own. By doing the above, I have managed to have some really interesting conversations with people who know a lot about their specialist subjects. I have learned so much and to me that is the sign of a good day! Hope yours is good too. Ghilaine @LadyGhilaine

Why make that choice?

Photograph: Action Press/REX FEATURES

I am always in intrigued by what makes people choose what they choose, do what they do or buy what they buy. As you may have gathered if you have read some of my previous posts, I am interested in the why, I like to know what makes people tick. Quite a useful skill, I might add, when you want to meet and chat with people. If you want to help people properly, finding out why they make the decisions and choices they do is often more meaningful than what the choices are. Especially if you suggest something that goes against their choice.

People don’t like their decisions questioned. Whilst people may think that decisions are weighed up and logically arrived at. More often than not, they are more instinctive than we may realise. This, I read about in the book Gut Feelings by Gerd Gigerenzer. I recommend you take a look, it may make your decision making less strained.

So having read a book about how people make decisions, it didn’t tell me a lot about why they make the choices they do. Obviously, this is not something that can be studied across a population. This is about each person and their motivations. In the early morning when I am thinking about life, the universe and everything, I wonder why some people aspire to have a ‘high powered, high earning’ job compared to the person who goes into a ‘meaningful’ job. I wonder why people go to the theatre vs the cinema vs watching telly. Why do some people want the easy life and others go to the ends of the earth to do something that very few others have done. This is especially pertinent considering the massive achievement of the free climbers who reached the summit of El Capitan a while back.

Sorry I can’t answer the question in one simple blog post, but I am working on finding out every time I meet someone new. I love finding out what I have in common, but what interests me more is why they are different and whether their different perspective helps me learn something new: about the world; about me; about them.

Spending time with likeminded people is a marvellous way of building relationships and diving deep into a subject area to learn more, but there is a risk of it becoming an echo chamber. Reaching out to new people extends your understanding of others, helps you broaden your horizons, encourages you to learn more. Dare I say it, helps you make more informed choice.

Ghilaine

@LadyGhilaine

So many people…… so little time

It may have been a while since I have written about the great people I have met. Not because I have stopped meeting them, but because I am meeting so many great people, it is hard to find the time to put pen to paper (or should that be fingers to keyboard).

I have met many Tech London Advocates, and, by extension, people they think I should meet as well. It is hard to know where to start, but start I shall, with Jeff Wellstead of Big Bear Partners.

I met Jeff Wellstead at the ITN offices in London, shared by some other companies. He is a positive and bubbly gentleman who is friendly and kind. He helps companies grow from an established start up to a growing company. He helps them build some structure and process so that they are able to realise their potential, hire and retain the great teams they deserve. On a cold December afternoon, it was lovely to relax and spend time chatting about Jeff’s experiences and his generosity of spirit took pride of place. Don’t underestimate it, he is obviously a talented businessman, but doesn’t let negativity taint his wisdom. It is great to see some correlation between the Tech London Advocates and be able to introduce some of them to each other. Considering what Russ Shaw set out to achieve, this is exactly what we all want to do.

Talking of television, I was invited to the Channel 4 offices, where I met Sanjeevan Bala. He has a very interesting role using big data to analyse where Channel 4 should best utilise its resources. If you weren’t aware Channel 4 don’t have studios or produce content. They commission all of it. This means that collaboration and partnership are at the heart of its business dealings. This also keeps them on the cutting edge of technology as they are constantly in the ‘marketplace’ of new ideas.

Not in TV, but working for a famous name I met Samad Masood, it was a very enjoyable conversation. Samad is a pragmatic straight talking gentleman who has his place firmly in the innovation space of the UK and Ireland. One of his responsibilities at Accenture is an accelerator that helps 7 FinTech companies on a 3 month program that gives them direct exposure to their future customers, mostly, the main banks. This benefit cannot be understated in an industry where change takes time and risks need to be carefully calculated. Accenture don’t take any equity for this investment of time and resources, a real benefit to all involved. It was a great conversation and I am so glad that I met have met Samad, a circumspect voice in a hyped industry. He also introduced me to The House of Genius, it may well be worth a look?

As I mentioned above, I continue to meet great people and I am making a conscious effort to let you know who they are and what great things they are doing. I hope you enjoy reading about it as much as I have enjoyed meeting and chatting with them!

Ghilaine
@LadyGhilaine

Helping as a way of life

Could you imagine being in a disaster or war zone? In the UK we are lucky, so far, to be in a decent and stable state. Now imagine for a second that you are not fully able bodied. How would you cope?

This is a situation that Aleema Shivji helps to alleviate with the work she does for Handicap International UK. She is currently the CEO of the UK branch of this international charity. She has advanced to that position after many years on the front line, she originally trained and qualified as a physiotherapist.

Imagine you have a tough business challenge to crack and you think that your day is not going to end well unless you solve it, bad eh? Aleema’s challenges go far beyond that scenario. She headed up the organisation’s programme in Haiti after the earthquake. Not only did she have to deal with those that were disabled before the disaster, but those disabled by the disaster. On top of that, working within the restrictions of having no infrastructure. Worry about no broadband? How about no running water?

Aleema is an amazing woman. She is friendly, generous and humble. Helping people is a way of life for her, as it is for many in the charity sector. Interestingly, she highlighted the fact that the charity doesn’t just need finances to thrive, but a network of advocates. We are looking to help her with ways to bring people together, not just mechanisms to donate cash: a specialism of ours! Giving and networking, she is in the right place!

I had the pleasure of attending a piano recital and reception hosted by Handicap International UK a few weeks back. What struck me was how collaborative the charity sector is. I met employees from other charities and they talked about helping each other out, rather than trying to compete for the same resources. This collaboration can sometimes be hard to find in the business world. People still use the term ‘dog eat dog’. It is changing and the collaborators are making waves. We need to do a lot more learning from the charity mind-set.

As I mentioned, Aleema is strong on collaboration, she is also on the Assembly of The Start Network, a consortium of 19 leading NGOs working together to strengthen the humanitarian aid system, their objectives aim to help civil society innovate, adapt and respond to the growing demands of the future. Not a simple task!

For me, what makes this network so inspiring is that they promote a way of working that enables international and local humanitarian actors to coexist. The vision is of a self-organising system where the agencies best placed to respond to a crisis are empowered to do so. To realise this vision, they are working to catalyse a humanitarian sector that is more diverse, decentralised and collaborative.

As well as doing all this, she has added her expertise to the Forced Migration Review  and she still finds time for kayaking in the lovely cold waters of the UK!

Ghilaine

@LadyGhilaine