Chill out, its the weekend

It is Friday afternoon and I am feeling especially productive, but now it is time to kick back and relax, ready for the weekend.

It is unlikely that most of us need an excuse to turn the computer off and take some time away from the screen and the work. It is harder to actually do it. There is someone needing something or that one last thing that needs doing……

The freedom to switch off is an important choice to make. You may not have the end of your week on a Friday afternoon, but whenever it is, give yourself the chance to take a break.

Even for 5 minutes……

@LadyGhilaine

First Impressions

We can’t take back a first impression that we make on someone, mores the pity. According to anecdotal evidence, it is hard to take back any mistakes you have made or mis-perceptions you have created. No pressure then.

As someone who likes to make a good first impression (and I am sure there are a number of you out there who are the same). I have decided that, as I can’t control it, I need to be the closest representation of who I am that I can. This at least then makes it easy to remember what I think and feel. This reduces the nerves on tense first meetings as well. We all know how well they help a situation.

A lot of my close friends will tell you that I didn’t really care what people thought of me and I was a ‘take me as you find me’ type of person. But for a few years, I struggled with authenticity and what it meant for me and the people around me. You may or may not be pleased to know that I have embraced my authenticity and it has helped me connect with people on a deeper level. It has the benefit of determining the people who don’t like you, very quickly.

And one of the many lessons I have learned on this journey called life, you can waste a lot of time annoying people who don’t like you and won’t ever, however much you change yourself around them. Who wants to be remembered for that?

So go out there, be yourself, make a great first impression! I have found a smile works wonders

@LadyGhilaine

Taking stock

There is a time of the year or a trigger that makes you stop in your tracks and look at what you have/what you want/where you are. A spring clean, a new moon, the start of summer?

When you mark yourself against a list that you have in your head, how highly do you score? What are you going to do to score more? More importantly, what new habits are you going to create to get better?

Use the opportunity of taking stock to make a plan to change something that isn’t working or, that you could do better. In my opinion, the best way to make a change in any area of your life is to change something small every day and create a new habit. James Clear articulates it very well here. Don’t try and make large wholesale changes that would be destined to fail. Instead tweak or add something a little at a time to make a system of changes that over time all add up.

Change doesn’t happen overnight, time and effort is what will and it takes time.

Here’s to new habits!

@LadyGhilaine

Quiet and focussed

I had the pleasure of being invited to a breakfast at the Gherkin a few days ago hosted by Christoph Burgdorfer where we discussed communication in a world of connected platforms or the connected world for that matter.

What resonated for me were 2 things. Firstly, Christoph talked about the need to understand that technology doesn’t solve our problems it facilitates humans to solve problems.

And secondly, for those regular readers you will know I do like a good quote, and Christoph didn’t disappoint.

“In a noisy world people don’t want bells and whistles. They want silence and clarity.”

Isn’t that profound and relevant? You can see the slides here

Here’s to a focussed and quiet week!

@LadyGhilaine

The joys of spring?

Coming into summer, perhaps this is not the right title, but I can’t think of one with summer. Suggestions gratefully received on a postcard to……

I had the displeasure of having to get up before 6am a few days ago which I can tell you is not a happy place for me. I feel as though I should get up early to get full advantage of the day, but never seem to get my body to follow up on that desire. Funny that! Anyway, I digress. Having had the displeasure, I figure that I may as well make the best of it and now it is light out, I don’t have to walk through wind and rain in the dark.

This may be a very simple observation, but it makes me realise that if I don’t take stock and remember that summer is pretty much here, I may blink and miss it! Now instead of being stuck inside meeting people, we may be able to move outside, onto a terrace or pub garden. How civilised!

Here’s to meeting people in the evening with a bit of daylight!

@LadyGhilaine

So what do you do in your spare time?

Conversation by xkcd

A question that fills many with dread, but should be relatively easy to answer. I suspect that the reason that a lot of people struggle is that they think what they do is not ‘good enough’. It also begs the question, what is free time? Many people don’t feel they have a lot of it any more. Is free time when you have nothing to do, therefore, what you do with it, is nothing. If free time is doing what you really want to do, do other commitments get in the way? Is free time, all the time that you are not paid to do anything else?

Perhaps people should not be scared of the question, but just clarify what it means to the questioner.

I hope you have a lovely weekend and get to have your free time, however you define it!

@LadyGhilaine

Difference between right and wrong.

This reminds me a little of the quote I posted about a few weeks back by CS Lewis, Integrity is doing the right thing even when no-one is looking.

This takes it one step further. When we are part of a group, how easy is it to assess what is right or wrong. As I mentioned before, these definitions come from a combination of beliefs, upbringing and local law. I think the easy ones of not stealing or murdering  are pretty straightforward, but how does it work for the more grey areas. If you need to feed your children, is stealing wrong then?

So whilst I agree with the sentiment in general with this picture, life is not always so clear cut? How do you really determine what is right and wrong if your own definitions are not shared by many?

Ghilaine

@LadyGhilaine

Life Happens

Life Happens; Own it. Jessica Hagy

I love Jessica Hagy’s images. They are simple, to the point and profound. This one I came across last week and I think it sums up a lot.

If you blame others for your situation, it takes away the feeling of positivity. Yes, not everything is going to go your way and yes, things out of your control may be to blame. But does it make you feel better to keep blaming?

Could you have done something about the bad situation to make it less likely to happen next time. Can you take responsibility for some of the situation. Even if you can’t, does it make you feel better to dwell on it?

Only you can answer that, but I think Jessica Hagy sums it up!

Ghilaine

What will you take? What will you give? Who will you connect?

I was re-reading the blog post What’s next this week and, as you can imagine, the questions “What will you take? What will you give? Who will you connect?” jumped out at me. Firstly, because it started with “What will you take?” and that is always something that, I think, should not be a thought that happens very often. “What are you happy to receive?” or “What do others give you?” may be a better slant on it.

However, “What will you give?” and “Who will you connect?” are those questions that resonate with me. I struggle with “What will you give?” as I am someone who likes to give something, but am also conscious that what I have to give is not necessarily what the other person wants to receive. I get round this by asking directly, “What do you need or want? Sometimes people don’t know, but once they have answered, I am able to determine if I can give.

That then leads onto the “Who will you connect?” I try to connect people who will help someone. This is where what seems a simple task can become complicated. Does the person you want to connect them to, want to be connected with? Do they have the time to give what the person wants or needs? And in a mercenary way, will the person you are connecting appreciate and reciprocate or pay forward the help they are given? That final question is very important to me. In Adam Grant’s book Give and Take he gives many examples of those people who have been taken advantage of by takers. This is not something that I want to be a part of.

Making connections is something I love to do, so the above is something I take extra care over.

Ghilaine

@LadyGhilaine

Be Kind!

One of my friends, Amanda Davie, was kind enough to forward this Pintrest board to me. I am one of those people who does like a good quote. I am not so good or wise with words, but I find quotes useful to convey what I mean simply.

The one that caught my eye immediately was “Before you say something, think how you’d feel if someone said it you” (http://hplyrikz.com)

Or if you don’t like that one, how about “Sometimes it is better to be kind than to be right. We do not need an intelligent mind that speaks, but a patient heart that listen.”

Perhaps that will give you something to think on this week. It certainly does for me.

Ghilaine

@LadyGhilaine